Ironic Headline #2

Joe Biden signs with Paul Mitchell

Ironic Headline #1

Tim Robbins puts bullet in Zarqawi's head after catching him illegally downloading Mystic River

Where are all the Rankin/Bass Thanksgiving specials?

Rudolph, Heat Miser, TLDB
Icons of holiday creativity. Crisp writing, life-like animation, gripping entertainment. Who among us did not shed a single tear when Aaron's parents were roasted by those murdering Islamofacists?

But the season for giving thanks does not merit a spunky animal, or an animated weather phenomenon? What the hell?

This is why I'm lifting my ban on comments and asking the readership (8 comely and true) to put your collective genius to work and come up with the next Rankin/Bass blockbuster.

I humbly submit some thought starters:

Barry the Can-shaped Cranberry Sauce Guy

Stretchy the Belt

Trippy McTophan the Little Nap Leprochan

Please join me in bringing some much overdue street cred to one of the greatest eating days of the year.